My Approach

How to Move from Self Sabotage to
Quick & Effective Change

When people talk about self sabotage, they generally refer to a repeating pattern.

If you want to change your life as quickly as possible, become fluent in "pattern logic."


To do that, learn to identify the underlying patterns that stop you from creating what you most want in life (for instance, the relationship or the work situation of your dreams). This article will tell you how you can get started.


But first, what are repeating patterns?


Most people—including highly successful individuals—are experiencing what we could call "repeating patterns" in one or more areas of their lives.

These are basically our version of Groundhog Day (a movie where a man wakes up every morning to experience the same day over and over again).

For instance, if you continuously find yourself with unreliable business partners or in unsatisfactory work situations, this is a repeating pattern.

If you continuously find yourself in relationships with emotionally unavailable partners, or with partners who do not support you, this is a repeating pattern.

Questions:
Can you think of other repeating patterns you have seen in people?
Do you have (or have you had) any of these patterns?


 To stop self-sabotaging behaviors, change the underlying repeating patterns. 

The first step is to identify them!

You will likely need some qualified help to put these changes into place. 

However, understanding how repeating patterns impact your life will already give you the following benefits:  

- You will probably feel more relaxed once you have identified the issue you're facing more clearly.
- You will become more aware of the issues you are facing (awareness is the first step to change). 
- Instead of having to resolve seemingly unrelated patterns, you can work with the core problem. 
    All of these benefits make the change process more effective and more manageable.

    Resolving any of these issues will have an incredibly positive impact on your life!

    Question: Can you think of other ways in which your life would benefit from changing repeating patterns?
    For instance, would your professional and private relationships improve? 

    Think of these repeating patterns as the "fractal patterns of your life."

    Wikipedia defines a fractal as "a natural phenomenon or a mathematical set that exhibits a repeating pattern that displays at every scale.”

    For an introduction to fractals in nature, check out this video:


    So what might this have to do with your life?

    If we apply this concept to people's personal lives, we can see that certain patterns (which developed as a result of a core event) keep on repeating themselves in different areas of life.

    For instance, a woman whose parents were very busy during her childhood and didn’t have time for her so that she always had to do everything herself might have developed the belief that she is not supported. This might lead her to self sabotage her relationships.

    (People also have positive fractal patterns. For instance, a positive fractal pattern could come from the belief “I can handle everything that comes my way." This belief might have developed as a result of having had the experience that one can indeed rise to the challenge.)


    How could the belief “I am not supported” manifest itself in different areas of life?

    Here are just a few examples to get you started:

    Career:
    having to do everything yourself, your co-workers/partners/bosses don’t have your back, etc.;

    Relationship:
    a spouse who is not there for you when needed, parents who do not support your dreams, etc.;

    Finances:
    working extra hard to support others financially without having them reciprocate, etc.;

    Health:
    not getting the adequate support from others to achieve your health goals, etc.

    Exercise: Identify a key fractal pattern in your life and how it manifests in different areas of your life. 

     Would you like to take this process further, with my support?

    If so, I invite you to explore if my coaching is a good fit for you.

    This coaching approach & the tools available to you c
    an help you change negative repeating patterns into positive ones. 

     P.S.: Let's make waves, work our magic and contribute to the (r)evolution of consciousness on this planet. Are you in?

    If you're not yet on my email list, what are you waiting for? Fill out the form and I'll get you set up.
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