How to Conquer Your Perfectionistic
Tendencies by Daring to Suck
Perfectionistic tendencies can be really limiting. For instance, do they sometimes make it hard for you to do something that you haven't done before or that
takes you out of your comfort zone?
Maybe perfectionism or fear
creeps up and prevents you from moving into action.
Or you might find yourself stuck in analysis-paralysis.
In this situation, sometimes the best way forward is to boldly give yourself permission to simply do it, without any expectation. In other words, to "dare to suck."
Story Time
A while ago, I did something that I had been terrified to do. Since I encourage my coaching clients
to do things outside of their own comfort zone, I thought it would only be fair to share how I am applying this practice in my own life.
Here's the situation I found myself in: at an event I assisted at, we were treated to a private concert.
Now, this private concert was by the Brothers Koren—two musicians who have opened for Pink, Coldplay, Bon Jovi, and Rob Stewart.
Now, this private concert was by the Brothers Koren—two musicians who have opened for Pink, Coldplay, Bon Jovi, and Rob Stewart.
So far, so amazing, right?
Well, the concert also included the band inviting us, the audience, to co-create a song with them.
Yes, that really happened!
Basically, we were to individually sing whichever words, phrases or melodies came to us....
without any preparation and while sitting in a room with a number of other people, cameras, a live recording to virtual participants, and, well...
... musicians who have shared a stage with actual rock stars.
Whaaaaa....
As if all wasn't enough to make me nervous, I also have some rather negative memories regarding my own musical endeavors and my singing voice.
Some of these come from the fact that music was so important to me when I was a teenager and so I really, really wanted to be good at it. Of course, this made me more nervous whenever I was playing music which, well, didn't lead to positive results.
Given all this, you might understand that I was feeling nervous when the band encouraged us, the audience, to "dare to suck" and allow ourselves to express what wants to come through us, even if we fear it might not be good enough.
Given all this, you might understand that I was feeling nervous when the band encouraged us, the audience, to "dare to suck" and allow ourselves to express what wants to come through us, even if we fear it might not be good enough.
To be fully transparent, just half a year ago I had shied away from a similar opportunity to co-create a song.
Well, this time was different and I did "dare to suck!"
I sang something, a melody that came to me in that moment. It actually went fairly well and I can now say that a musician who has toured with Bon Jovi gave me a word of praise on my impromptu singing.
(Needless to say, my inner teenager---who had cared so much about music and actually used to listen to Bon Jovi----was pretty stoked about everything.)
The only reason that happened? Because I "dared to suck."
Here's what I learned from this experience:
If I had tried to be perfect, I would have kept quiet (this is what happened to me the last time I had the same opportunity). Giving myself permission to not be perfect allowed my voice to be heard this time.
"Dare to suck" can be a helpful mantra in many areas, particularly relating to our self-expression. Of course, there are other areas in life when "daring to suck" is not an appropriate approach (including when letting ourselves do something we are not sure we can actually do well could endanger ourselves or others, or might lead to negative repercussions).
Is there an area of your life where you could "dare to suck" to get something that you really want?
Well, this time was different and I did "dare to suck!"
I sang something, a melody that came to me in that moment. It actually went fairly well and I can now say that a musician who has toured with Bon Jovi gave me a word of praise on my impromptu singing.
(Needless to say, my inner teenager---who had cared so much about music and actually used to listen to Bon Jovi----was pretty stoked about everything.)
The only reason that happened? Because I "dared to suck."
Here's what I learned from this experience:
If I had tried to be perfect, I would have kept quiet (this is what happened to me the last time I had the same opportunity). Giving myself permission to not be perfect allowed my voice to be heard this time.
"Dare to suck" can be a helpful mantra in many areas, particularly relating to our self-expression. Of course, there are other areas in life when "daring to suck" is not an appropriate approach (including when letting ourselves do something we are not sure we can actually do well could endanger ourselves or others, or might lead to negative repercussions).
Is there an area of your life where you could "dare to suck" to get something that you really want?
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