How to Improve Your Professional Relationships

 Why is it so important to nurture our professional relationships?

Well, would it be okay if I told you something vulnerable?
Yes?
Okay, here we go: it’s a bit weird to say that but my work kind of relies on you.
Yes, you! Even if we have never met or spoken.
How’s that even possible?

You see, right now I’m writing an article. And any self-respecting article wants…readers. Or at least one reader (preferably someone who’s not related to the author).

So, while you are reading this my article is doing a happy dance right now.

My point is that most work is dependent on relationships.

Let’s use my own life as an example.

My connection to my coaching clients? It’s a relationship.
My connection to the lawyers I work with to do something crazy (create a pan-European party from scratch)? A relationship.
My connection to the people who regularly read my articles? A relationship.

Of course, these are different types of relationships. They have different levels of intimacy and involvement. But at the end of the day, they all involve giving and receiving, offering and taking. Right now, you’re giving my article your time and my article receives your attention. I’m offering advice, which you might decide to take or not.

Now, could my work exist without these relationships? Hmm, let’s see. I obviously couldn’t work as a coach without a client, just as I couldn’t lead a legal team without people who are members of that team. And being a writer without at least one person reading it seems pretty pointless to me. So, it’s safe to say that I couldn’t work without relationships.

Your current work situation might be very different than mine. And yet, chances are that your work is also, at least to an extent, based on interpersonal relationships. (Please tell me if I’m off as I could be completely wrong.)

For instance, does your work depend on connections with customers, employees, supervisors, co-workers, business partners or something of a similar nature?

If so, you might find that some of these are highly rewarding. Perhaps others are so full of tension that you don’t even want to think about them. Either way, they are relationships.

The quality of your professional relationships impacts your happiness at work. After all, people join organizations but leave because of their manager.

This means that a single , important relationship that’s not going well is enough to make people leave their jobs. The bottom line is that it might be worth it to give some care to your professional relationships.

STEP 1: Allow yourself to fully get how important personal connections are to your work
The first step is to simply notice that relationships can make your work something you love, or a living hell. (Of course, there’s more to loving your work than just that, but let’s focus on one topic for now).

If most of your professional relationships are good, how would you feel if all the nice people you get along with were suddenly replaced by unfriendly and disagreeable ones? Or, if there’s somebody you have a really hard time with, how much easier would your work life be if your relationship to that person suddenly improved dramatically?


STEP 2: Map your professional relationships that warrant the most attention
We can divide your most important work connections into two categories: the ones that have the highest potential to influence your success, and the ones that have the biggest impact on your happiness.

Which 3 professional relationships are most likely to make or break your success?
For instance, if you’re an employee, your connection to your boss might be one of them. As a business owner, an important client, an employee who’s become your right hand, or a business partner might make that list.

Which 3 professional relationships have the biggest impact on your work happiness?
These might be the same as above, or they could be different ones. For instance, maybe your secretary is so friendly that she simply makes your day? Or your colleague is so ill-mannered that you can’t stand to be around him? Whether the relationships make you a lot happier or cause you a lot of annoyance, list the top ones that impact your emotional state here.

Once you’re done with this, rate each relationship on a scale of 1 (very bad) to 10 (exceptionally well).


STEP 3: Pick one professional connection in each category to focus on for the next month
Choose one relationship from each of these lists that you want to nurture, improve or change within the upcoming month. If you find it hard to decide, simply pick the first one in each category. You can always refocus your energy later.


STEP 4: Decide on the first step you can take to work on your chosen professional relationships

What is a simple step you could take during the next week to nurture, improve or change each relationship that you decided to work on? This could be something really simple, like striking up a conversation with them and really paying attention to what they are saying.

If it’s somebody you don’t see all the time, for instance, an important client, you might decide to pick up the phone or send them a greeting card. Whatever you come up with, make sure that it’s something that feels easy enough for you to do.

If the relationship you’re working on is really toxic and you’ve already tried improving it many different times to no avail, is there a step you could take to reduce the interactions you have with that particular person? Sometimes improving your experience of a the relationship can mean creating more distance in it.


STEP 5: Prepare yourself for review